Habits

I used to look at people in really good shape and think they were crazy. I didn’t understand the commitment behind it. I didn’t understand how lifechanging it is. I started working out in 2023 and never looked back.

I didn’t really lose alot of weight until 2025. I worked out and kept my bad habits. I drank alcohol and ate crap foods. I felt better mentally because I was doing the workouts. I felt like I could continue to have bad habits and expect the same results I got 10 years ago.

I was wrong and regret not changing my habits earlier on. I went to my primary care doctor and she said that my bloodwork was amazing. She couldn’t understand why I wasn’t losing weight or in better physical shape. She tried to prescribe me the shots and to be honest I considered it (until I saw that price tag). I ended up getting on phetermine and to say it worked miracles is a understatment. I took it for the first time and felt invisible. I felt like I was on alot of drugs aka speed. I cleaned and worked out and man I felt good. The next day hit me like a ton of bricks and I went through withdrawls. I stopped taking it and just continued to change my habits.

I will admit I did start back taking the phetermine, but only a half dose. It has helped me lost 40 pounds. The biggest thing it is has helped me with is not wanting alcohol or unhealthy food. I don’t eat fast food anymore and I have cut out carbs. It was the drug I needed to help me break those bad habits.

I was the type of person who legit would tell you I wouldn’t give up drinking for anything. I enjoyed a glass of wine (maybe a bottle). I loved eating that bread and pasta, because something about it was comforting. The phetermine broke that for me and it has created healthier habits.

I say this because losing weight is a challenge and I am hoping creating these healthier habits it will just become a lifestyle. I want my children to see the habits and follow suit. I am working out daily and walking daily.

I started running and can honestly say that was the best decision I have made. I think clearer, I feel better and I feel like I have joined a community that is so welcoming. I am not fast, but strive to be faster. I signed up for my first half marathon. I am nervous and excited all at the same time. People are giving me their opinions on it and I am choosing to block out the noise. I am focusing on training and will make a blog on how it went. It is November 2nd so stay alert for that one.

I think that habits are so important and I have many flaws. I am going to continue to change the habits that I can’t stand and replace them with ones that will be beneficial to me and my family. What are your good and bad habits? Have you thought about them? Are you ok with them?

Big Dreamer

Let’s get real here. What did you want to be growing up? I am going to be real honest, I have no clue what I wanted to do. I would had never thought I would be a Clinical Social Worker, working towards her MBA.

Maybe I wanted to be a movie star, but I didn’t have the personality for that. My mom did local corny commercials and I got to be in some of those. I played Drew Barrymore in one. It was a furniture commercial and I looked like her when she was in ET. I thought it was going to sky rocket past the local media. (It did not) I am not famous and the older I have gotten I am grateful for that.

I don’t think I would know what to do with popularity and people knowing me. I have never been the popular person or known person. I feel like I am honestly a easy to forget person. This could all be in my head, but who knows.

I just recently started doing 75 day hard and reading these self help fiction books. “Girl Wash your Face” by Angela Hollis is what inspired me to change my nonprofit into a online personal journal. Will be read it and say oh I like her. Most likely not, but does it help me express myself it does.

I am still interested in doing my nonprofit one day and have big goals for it eventually, but I need to just focus on my here and now. I reached out to over 100 celebrities. I probably seemed like a stalker to Drew Barrymore and Rachel Platten. I wanted to be on the Drew Barrymore show so bad to just promote my amazing idea and non profit. Rachel Platten made her alblum last year that truly helped me heal. Why did I have in my head that myself and Rachel and Drew would be friends and get lunch together? It’s kind of comical if you think about it. I also can’t go without giving credit to Mel Robbins “Let Them” Book. Holy smokes it is good. I tattooed Let Them on my body and emailed Mel to let her know.

Who knows if people out of our league ever see anything we do. I mean honestly I am almost 100% sure they don’t. Rachel didn’t comment on a comment I left on Tiktok. In my head instant besties and in reality I am actually just a nut. Can you imagine how many crazy people stalk and harrass celebrities? This is one reason I don’t think I could handle fame. I don’t even like to see people I know in public. I will legit turn and avoid you.

My current dream is being a good mom and wife. I want to have a family like the family on Parenthood and have Sunday dinners and play games. I want my kids to want to be around me and want to spend time with me. I am learning from current family situations on what not to do.

So this blog and post was like a ADHD kid, all over the place. What are some of your dreams? What is something you feel like is impossible? Did you know people who once thought something was impossible, made it possible? Are you ok with settling and not following your dreams?