Divorce is Hard
Alright you made it to the next memory I have growing up. My parents separated and I remember moving in with my grandparents. I loved my grandparents so much and they really put me on the path that I am on now. That will come later on how they inspired me and created the journey I am on.
It was Christmas and my moms family gathered. My cousins and uncles and aunts. It was the first holiday away from my Dad not being with us. We lived in a small town (read the about me). My dad showed up. He was on the steps on my grandparents house crying. This is the ONLY time I have ever seen my dad cry. He was so upset and honestly as a 2-3 year old I didn’t understand. I just knew he was sad.
I didn’t know all the complexities that played into the divorce of my parents. There are three sides to every story and will I ever have the real truth, probably not. I just know that I get it. I don’t want to be in an unhappy marriage, however I also know that marriage is ugly. It isn’t pretty and there are going to be challenges. The question I ask myself is, Can I see myself growing old with this person? My answer is normally yes. Another question I ask is, Is this something that I can get over? If the answer is ever no, thats a decision I have to make for myself. I can’t torture myself or my husband for the rest of our lives. The answer so far to the second question has been yes. Do I have some things that I think about and they are in the back of my mind? Sure. Do they get triggered occasionally? Absolutely.
I know growing up in different homes can be challenging for some and confusing to kids. I saw my dad every other weekend until I turned about 10 or 11. My mom showed up and middle summer the AC wasn’t on at my dads. My mom gave me the option to go whenever I wanted at that point, along with my brother. I love my dad and get that running the AC was expensive and I am not mad about it. Come to NC and live in these humid summers with no AC though. It will make you grateful for when you do have it. I think I keep my house so cold because of that situation. I am sure I have bored you to death with divorce talk by now, but it has shaped my thinking and how I do things as a parent. If you come to my house you will see that it’s freezing in the summer. So my question for you is, did your parents have quirks? Do you have memories of your parents crying? I know my life is not even close to some of the trauma people have faced and I am blessed beyond measure to have parents that care and love me. Are you Ok?